So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize