I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I need to calm my uterus...
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
