You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize