Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
