Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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