You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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