you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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