We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
