i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
