I can tuck mytits in my pants
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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