Well apparently he's into motor boating.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
