omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
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