Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
