So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
