he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
