It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
