We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
