i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize