how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
