I want to stick my p in your. b.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
