Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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