i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
