Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Acid is not a monday night drug
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Verdict: uncircumcised.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
