He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
