it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Im part way to drunk.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
