we're chasing vodka with high fives
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
