Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
