We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize