You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
