I want to walk on stilts...naked
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize
