I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize