I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i just wanna soil my oats bro
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
