we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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