It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He keeps bees of course he's weird
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
