Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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