Nicole vs. Life
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
