i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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