Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
