She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
