rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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