they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize