we're blogging at a bar
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
