i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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