Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
