guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
