Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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