its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
