We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
