gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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