Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
