I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
