weddingsv make me drug and hornr
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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