she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
