I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
