but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.Â
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
