what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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