my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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