I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize