Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
