This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
