Where did you get a picture of my penis
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
