you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
