I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
two words: eviction party
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize