I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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