Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
