she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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