Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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