After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
